Category Archives: Current Events

NFL Draft Live Blog

Because hey, why not? Refresh the page for updates.

6:58 Has this always been at Radio City? Seems like I’d remember that but then again I don’t pay attention.

6:58 Currently drinking? Summit Saga.

7:00 Excellent choice of The Heavy for an opening montage. Poor choice of Russell Wilson. And 50 Cent, holy crap.

7:02 Amazingly, Mel Kiper is the most likeable person on this panel. It’s not really even that close.

7:04 There are Chiefs fans there?

7:05 BOOOOO! COMMISH SUCKS!!! Wait, he said FREEDOM!! YAY!!!

7:06 Well, that was awkward. Never change, Joe Namath.

7:10 Berman: The Chiefs suck, but if they get good players, they could be better.

7:12 Gruden: EVERYONE IS GREAT

7:16 Chiefs take OT Eric Fisher. And the mock draft is off to a rousing start.

7:18 Blue collar = white.

7:19 “small school” Central Michigan? 28,389 students.

7:24 The Jaguars select who cares Luke Joeckel. Three piece suit, sharp.

7:27 The Raiders are hilarious. Never know what’s going to happen. I wouldn’t be shocked if they trade this pick for Marques Tuiasosopo.

7:31 Are there, like, rules on who you can draft? Can you draft ANYBODY? Do they even have to have played football? I’m just saying, I’m available for this sort of publicity stunt.

7:33 Oh the Raiders are the best.

7:34 The newly picking Dolphins select Dion Jordan DE (or OLB, nobody seems to know) out of Oregon. Interesting. Went 7th in our draft.

7:36 Gruden: Jordan is TERRIBLE! But here’s all these GREAT things about him! He sucks though! Maybe!

7:41 Dion’s heart will go on.

7:43 Eagles take the 3rd OT of the draft, Lane Johnson of Oklahoma. And the Chargers are already screwed and might as well trade.

7:44 I know the NFL are experts at wasting time, but the “pick is in” graphic is almost as meaningless as the glow puck. There’s still several minutes before the actual pick is made.

7:46 Berman speaking like a man who has played his share of Legos.

7:49 “Decimated” “shredded” also apt descriptions for the city of Detroit itself.

7:50 Confused Old Man Barry Sanders announces the Detroit Lions select Ezekiel Ansah, DE from BYU. He appears to have just come from a 3D movie.

7:54 Um, what?

7:55 The ever-present high picking Browns select Barky Mingo, DE out of LSU. He is a human/labrador hybrid.

7:59 Those guys sitting at those tables aren’t actually doing anything right? They just submit the pick? There has to be an easier way of doing this.

8:01 The Arizona Cardinals select Jackmerius Tacktheritrix, Michigan State.

8:03 Actually Jonathan Cooper, G out of UNC.

8:05 Rams are picking now apparently, trade or something. Mock Draft update, still 0-0. NECK AND NECK!

8:09 Nothing is continuing to happen. Oh wait, a pick! Goodell smiles at somebody in the crowd. Probably gas. Anyway, Rams select Tavon Austin, tiny WR from tiny state west of Virginia. He is immediately the second best WR named Austin in the NFL.

8:12 The Jets’ War Room is a toilet.

8:14 Who are the fat guys standing behind the table of every team on the clock? Is somebody going to attack them?

8:17 The Jorts select Dee Milliner, CB from Alabama. A surprisingly good pick from one of the NFL’s more stupid franchises. Dee is short for DeMarcus.

8:25 I’m awake. “Pick is in” is again a lie.

8:26 Tennessee Titties select Chance Warmack, G from Alabama. Big fella rockin’ the tie bar, but it’s too high.

8:31 My precious Chargers select…DAMMIT

8:33 DJ Fluker, fat ass from Alabama.

8:38 I’m mad now. Stupid Raiders select another DJ, Hayden this time. CB from Houston. No idea who this person is.

8:41 Geno looks lonely.

8:45 Seriously, stop showing him. It’s getting weird and awkward.

8:47 Jets take DT Sheldon Richardson from Missouri, who we had going 28th.

8:50 Seriously though, Fluker is a ridiculous choice. He’s big, but that’s all. He was the third best guard in the draft and there was no reason to take him at 11.

8:52 Panthers make the Chargers pick for them, DT Star Lotulelei out of Utah.

8:59 DAMMIT I CANNOT GET ONE OF THESE RIGHT! Kenny Vaccaro, S, Texas.

9:04 Everybody hates Geno.

9:08 Let’s call it a night there. Hit me up @WordOfTodd.

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