Word of Todd: What’s Important this Weekend

Well, we’ve survived the apocalypse (SO FAR!) so now we all can look ahead to the weekend. For a lot of us, this will be a long weekend with the impending holiday break. One note, the birth of the Messiah will not be included on this list as it didn’t really happen on December 25th. In the interest of fairness, I also won’t be including the delivery of gifts to all children around the world. Well not all children, just the good ones. I have to think the emergence of gas fireplaces has to put a real crimp in Santa’s business model. There are other ways to access the home, sure, but where does he get the coal from for the naughty children? Does he bring a big bag of coal with him in addition to the presents? Who delivers the coal to the North Pole? Hope it qualifies for Super Saver shipping.

Friday

2013 Beef O’ Brady’s Bowl, Ball State vs. University of Central Florida (7:30 ET ESPN): Yikes. Hope you have a party or something to go to because we’re leading off with this as it’s really the only noteworthy sporting event going on tonight. UCF lost the Conference USA Championship Game to Tulsa on December 1st, and gets the BOBB (the extra B is for BYOBB) as a consolation prize. The Ball State Cardinals have won six in a row out of the MAC, but are 0-5 all time in bowl games. Bowl games such as these don’t really decide anything of actual consequence, but that doesn’t make them meaningless. Just look at them as extra games and practices, which are positives for the players and coaches. Just because you call something a bowl game doesn’t mean you’re trying to say it’s just as good as the Rose Bowl. You’ll never catch me complaining about more football. I don’t mean to imply I’ll be watching this game, however. I won’t.

Bulls @ Knicks (7:30 ET NBATV)

Miracle on 34th Street (8:00 ET AMC): What?

Saturday

9 Kansas @ 7 Ohio State (4:00 ET CBS): The only matchup of top 10 teams in college basketball this week. I surmise that is is important, however I don’t really care about matchups like this until the tournament. When I say I love sports, I really just mean I love my favorite teams. Unless it’s a playoff situation, or a game that directly impacts my favorite team I have trouble feigning interest. Another exception is a live event. I’d go to just about any live sporting event. Same goes for concerts. However that has a lot to do with whether I have to pay for it or not. Free tickets to Lady Gaga? OK! Oh, you want 15 cents for it? PASS.

Falcons @ Lions (8:30 ET ESPN): Saturday football is back! And it sucks! Why is the NFL so paranoid about competing with college football? At least I assume that’s the reason, it’s possible it could just be out of respect for tradition, but that seems unlikely. There is no sport that cares less about its history than the National Football League, the next closest would probably be the NBA. The prominence of both is only about 50 years old, where baseball and hockey date back to the 19th century. Is there much doubt that outside of SEC country the NFL would dominate the ratings if they put two games on Saturday? I’m not advocating for this, but I can’t see why the NFL wouldn’t want to do it.

12 Missouri vs. 10 Illinois: The Braggin’ Rights game in St. Louis.

Parking Wars (9:00 ET A&E): It’s my list, I do what I want. This show is hilarious though. Takes place in arguably two of America’s most dysfunctional cities, Detroit and Philadelphia.

Sunday

49ers @ Seahawks (8:20 ET NBC): Russell Wilson is annoying. Why is it whenever there’s a semi-intelligent football player the media feels the need to fawn all over him? There’s probably a lot of smart players who never get attention because they don’t play a marquee position or aren’t spoiled brats who abandon their team with one year of eligiblity left. Russell Wilson is the worst.

Vikings @ Texans (1:00 ET Fox): If Adrian Peterson breaks Eric Dickerson’s record he no doubt is the single season rushing king. Worth noting, however, Dickerson only bested OJ Simpson’s mark by 102 yards, and Simpson had two fewer games. Whatever happened to that Simpson kid?

The Shawshank Redemption (8:00 ET Bio): Jeez, I sound like Bill Simmons.

Also important this weekend, use your turn signals people. Usually it doesn’t matter, but it pisses me off anyway and there’s no reason to NOT use your turn signal. And don’t do the half merge then blinker move. This isn’t Russia. Is this Russia? This isn’t Russia, is it? I didn’t think so.

Enjoy whatever it is you do this weekend.

Dreaming of a Wild Christmas

Now that we finally got some of that frozen white stuff on the ground here in Minnesota, I’ve really been struggling with some mixed feelings as of late. The most prominent is that as Christmas looms less than a week away, the fact that we still don’t have any real idea if there will be a 2012-13 NHL season is quite depressing.

Growing up in Minnesota, hockey and winter go together like lamb and tuna fish. What, spaghetti and meatball a better analogy for you?! Nothing symbolizes the feelings that people generate for those two things like having your local NHL team’s colors be red and green. Coincidence? I very highly doubt it. The Minnesota Wild look like Christmas all season long. When I’m looking for red and green or Christmas-esque attire to wear around the holidays the only thing I find in my wardrobe are Wild shirts. So it’s just devastating to not be able to watch them play as Christmas approaches.

Maybe the NHL and NHLPA should get into the holiday spirit and realize what Christmas is all about. I think finally setting an end date to this pathetic display of greed and downright douchebagery once and for all would be the greatest gift to give this holiday season. Well, to whatever fans are still left anyway…

– Kyle ‘Baked-bean Guy’ Brager